Sometimes you are tied down by things. You can't step up, sometimes you can't step down. You will feel like the audience in your own hidden agenda. With the ultimate sense of being ultimately helpless. You can do nothing. It questions your prowess. Being in this world, in this family, opens a sight to my eyes. Sometimes you do step up. But when somethings clicks, and it makes you take two steps back. It's just like an egg. It has a secret inside. You are forever haunted by two possibilities if you won't crack it open. You won't know if the egg inside is hard-boiled or otherwise. Sometimes we're caught in the act. Caught in hypocrisy. Caught in between.

So this is the challenge God beset upon us. To spread his word and his teachings. But we are often drowned in our little mishaps everyday. It is already a challenge for us to remind ourselves of his word, put aside spreading it. We are cornered by our expectations and it seems like such a waste and all that. But you gotta remember, if quitting now is already hard, let alone tomorrow, the year after, the decade after. If you need to nip it in the bud, do so now. Rather than later. Yes, it is tough. Watching unsettled arguments and troubles rise around you. But you can do nothing except to take it all in. The scenery, the horrifying states, take it in. Breathe it in and shut your eyes close. Will it to go away.

Yours.