give a little shake as you move along.


Amira Idayu
You don't need lucidity to find joy. Joy is where you decide to put your heart at. There's just something about words that I love, that works in sync with codes. Solituditary, writing, imagination. Those, are my favourites.
Amira Idayu. Preface. tagboard.

Hiding behind a text.
11/26/2009 09:31:00 PM
Thursday
bop to the top
You sit with your Grandmama by the beach and you stroke her lovingly. You wonder how it feels to be her. One who went through numerous phases of life. One who gains multiple experiences. Then you wonder, is she afraid of what's coming? When the day gets nearer. You know it's coming but you just don't know when. You wonder how it feels to repent for the things you've done. And how it feels trying to let go of your loved ones who you have had spent your life time with. How does it feel to finally meet Granddad? He's the love of your life, seperated after a sum of years. Till death do them part, yes true. I would be afraid if i were in her shoes. I'm afraid she won't be there anymore to always hear me talk about that boy i like, my best friends or about family life and education. We're all never ready for goodbyes.

You wonder if you had used enough of the alloted time to be a boy. To feel sure and tell the person what you're sure of. You try to divert your attention but your heart can't help but jump slightly when your phone receives a text message. You wonder if its a meaningful one or just from some other. You wonder if he's thinking of you cos you have been thinking about him a lot. You know what it feels like. To smile so wide upon seeing his name on your cell phone's screen. Or to catch his gaze and smile. Or to have your secret injokes playing in your mind. And you'd be out and about, trying to have fun with your friends cos you don't want to let him occupy your thoughts when you've nothing to do. Only to get to a certain point of your day where you wish he's there with you cos it'd be fun. You're smitten with him and you told him and your very best friends so. But is he too, with you?

You'd get to a certain point in your everyday when you stop short in your work. And can't help but wondering what happens tomorrow? The thing about predictions, they are almost never true. Im sure you've been told. Yeah, so i know. But it sure is true. You work yourself up trying to cushion the blow. Prepare your reactions before anything bad happens. But you sure will be caught off-guard when it does really happen. And all the preparations you did before, suddenly dissipated into thin air.

Sometimes you try to tell yourself not to take your parents for granted. You try to be a great daughter or son to them. Cos when you put yourself in their shoes, you feel for them. You know how hard it is to raise a bunch of kids. You get the idea how hard marriage is. You can almost feel the hurt at the tip of your tongue to hear their failures. Yet you rejoice with them in their tales of success and happy times. You share their awes. But sometimes you fail too, in being the best. Your tempers get the better of you. The fact that you're cashless, bring hurt too when you see them eyeing that perfect shirt that would really look good on them. You try to make sacrifices for them because in the end, they're worth it.

Yours.